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Jullianna's Musings

 
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MissJulianna
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Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 162
Location: Quirinelle and Culveria

PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:26 pm    Post subject: Jullianna's Musings Reply with quote

Well, the pressure is on, thanks to our lovely and sweet Miss Finesmith!

What shall I ruminate upon today? I shall start in typically blonde fashion.

I do love the change in seasons. It is like starting anew. Time to stop using the downstairs closet (which contains summer frocks, blouses and shoes) and to venture upstairs to the fall and winter archives, home of my one lovely fur (oh I cannot wait until it is cold enough to wear it), woolen plaids, cashmere sweaters, and the like.

But I am rushing things. It was 65 degrees this afternoon, but those 41 degree wakeups are a bit of a tease!

The air also smells cleaner this time of year. Nicer, fresher. One sleeps better (or tries to!), and there are no frizzly-dizzly things that happen to the blonde hair.

Today, I selected a stunning apple/olive green silk blouse which set off my eyes. It was heaven, heaven I say! If I have to work like a slave all day doing the work of three, I shall do it in style!

Once I figure out how to do so, I shall post the lovely piece I graphic-designed (is that a word, really?) today. It was bliss. I should have ignored my parents and went to art college. Oh well, an English degree was a good solid thing to do, and besides I spent most of my time writing poetry for credit any-hoos.

Loves to you all darlings!

JJ
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MissJulianna
Splendid Contributor


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 162
Location: Quirinelle and Culveria

PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 3:07 pm    Post subject: Feeling very down today Reply with quote

I am wallowing in self-pity this morning.

At 6:25 AM this morning, my child begrudgingly hugged me goodbye and lugged a big suitcase out the back door as he ventured out for a two-day overmight science field trip. It is his first time away from us. . . he has never even had a sleepover! He cannot call home, and we cannot call him.

I didn't think it would hit me this hard, but as soon as he left, I broke down in tears. An hour later, I had a grand-mal panick attack. Now I am sitting in my office, quiet and rather empty inside. I can't concentrate on anything, and I just don't know how I shall make it through the day.

It just dawned on me that it is 11 years to the day that I first left him to go back to work.

I just want to squeeze his little cheeks and hug him.
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Daffodil Finesmith
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Joined: 27 May 2008
Posts: 125
Location: Vintesse

PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 7:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OH DARLING! You poor thing. I am so sorry you are feeling down. *Big Hug*

The most horrible thing is, he is probably now at this very moment completely engrossed with capturing bugs or frogs or whatever and won't be giving you a second thought till he's home again.

A mother's job is so heartbreaking, isnt' it? We are expected to raise and love our children to be fully independent and move away, leaving us alone. When they no longer need us we've done our job properly... regardless of how much we might still need them.
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MissJulianna
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Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 162
Location: Quirinelle and Culveria

PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, Miss Finesmith I know you would understand as a mother!

I am not sure if I am coming down with a cold or if separation from my child has made me physically ill, but in any event I left work at 1:30, came home and slept for two hours and feel better. Still, aside from a kitty or two milling about the house is eerily quiet.

Thank you for posting back Miss Finesmith. It was comforting to awaken from my nap to some kind words.

Love,
JJ
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MissJulianna
Splendid Contributor


Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 162
Location: Quirinelle and Culveria

PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 1:02 am    Post subject: My Stock Taking Reply with quote

Rayati, sisters:

It seems as if the end of the Tellurian year lends itself to the "year in review" syndrome. I had responded to my little sister Miss Yu's post about this phenomenon, but did not want to steal her thunder with my own ruminations. So I am using my own diary to deal with my thoughts.

As I mentioned earlier, the end of the Tellurian year rather compels one to examine the events of what has passed. I am not entirely sure why this psychological line in the sand has been drawn. . . think about the year behind, make promises for the year ahead. Ah well, so it goes.

For me, the stock taking is rather important this year. This is the end of my first year in Aristasia. I cannot believe I have found my way here some times, and other times, I feel as if I have always been here but just did not quite find my way to all of you. But I did, and I do know I was brought here, and there was some sort of divine intervention that did.

I have found friends, mentors, and true sisters. As an only child, this is immeasurably special to me. When I am with you all, I am myself, with all my flaws, quirks, and yes, my gifts. I learn, I encourage, I love. No strings attached, except fidelity to the Motherland.

I am a perfectly formed diamond in the rough.

I am an expression of eternal love.

I am all right just as I am.

I do not have to be anything but what I am now, but I am committed to learning all I can.

And I love you all
thank you all
for welcoming
me
into your fold

Rayati

JJ
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