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Jullianna's Musings
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MissJulianna
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Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 162
Location: Quirinelle and Culveria

PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:39 pm    Post subject: Jullianna's Musings Reply with quote

Something about rain. Rain, rain, rain for three days straight. It fills one with langour and kills any motivation for anything remotely productive. One would think I live in the Yeek!

Actually, it is the remnants of a tropical storm. It IS hurricane season here in Culveria after all.

So.

Here it is, late Sunday afternoon, and there have been so few maids about in Virtualia this weekend. Is everyone all right??[/i]
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Sushuri Madonna
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Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 335
Location: In a strange and scary place on a long journey homeward.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 1:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So sorry to be so absent. It has been a busy weekend! One of us was getting married to a very charming brunette. Three of us were camping on white cliffs high above the sea and singing Aristasian anthems around a campfire.

I think that rather thinned the usual ranks!

I shall post more details later.

In the meantime we really need an Imperial flag for our camps. Does anyone know the best place to commission one?
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MissJulianna
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Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 162
Location: Quirinelle and Culveria

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 5:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So glad to hear you are all among the living!
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MissJulianna
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Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 162
Location: Quirinelle and Culveria

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:20 pm    Post subject: The sky is falling! Reply with quote

I am so disgusted with the state of Telluria today. It's not that I haven't been disappointed in the world before, which is probably why I have been spending more and more time in Aristasia, but today is bad. Really bad.

Our country is at war and in debt at levels far beyond it can ever repay. Our financial markets--and my subsequent future security--have essentially gone to hell in a handbasket. I am sorry if I can't wax eloquent today, but I am just plain scared. And angry that it has come to this.
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Daffodil Finesmith
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Joined: 27 May 2008
Posts: 125
Location: Vintesse

PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 11:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Miss Julianna,
I am so sorry you are distressed. You certainly have every right to be. I do agree that Telluria is frustratingly unpleasant at the moment. What helps me, perhaps it may you as well, is to try and remember that these sorts of cycles are a regular occurrence throughout the centuries of history. The idiotic Masculs become filled with arrogance, greed and violence until they scare themselves so silly that they then behave themselves for awhile and Telluria becomes nearly civilized for awhile...of course, until they forget why they were scared and then start it over again. It does cause one to stamp one's foot with vexation, I agree.

It is pathetic, silly and sad, isn't it? For our part, I believe we must continue to be kind and sweet and point to what gracious beauty still exists. It's not an easy task but I feel it is a humble (yet essential) one if we are not to lose those things forever.

Rayati (and hugs),
Miss Daffodil

PS- Regarding the financial markets- it's just another example of those same silly masculs getting panicky and scared by their own earlier arrogance. Have patience, dear.
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MissJulianna
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Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 162
Location: Quirinelle and Culveria

PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You are too kind and reasonable darling. Perhaps it is the mother tiger in me getting frustrated with the greedy souls tampering with my future and that of my child amd spouse (mascul that they be, but they are good souls). I still think that I can work to make Telluria a better place, and goodness knows that's what I get paid to do (professional do-gooder that I am), and what I have signed on to do as a political volunteer.

Guess I just need a good night's sleep. Pray i am not up with hot flashes again tonight. I am too young for this!!

Much love,
JJ
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MissJulianna
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Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 162
Location: Quirinelle and Culveria

PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 3:09 pm    Post subject: More Diarising Reply with quote

Other than posting recipes (and getting fat on my own cooking), I seem to be in a bit of a funk with this whole diary endeavor.

I have no ambition, no energy. I struggle to get through the simplest tasks, and the things that used to be important to me are fading into the background. Could it be seasonal affective disorder? The result of too much stress? A little of both perhaps?

I feel as if I am digging holes in the sand during a windstorm. I've even considered finding a new psychiatrist and starting treatment again. I want to feel alive again.

Nothing, I mean nothing, is easy anymore.

Enough of my pity party. Must try to go make things happen here at work.

Rayati,
Miss Jullianna
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Minami Kohime



Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 39

PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, dear Miss Juliesse... I know exactly what you feel. I have myself taken a psychiatric treatment before, but I swore to myself it would not last my entire life. And so far I have managed it quite well without medications, but I understand that, sometimes, it just feels plain impossible.

In my case, the lack of energy comes from the fact that I don't have much motivation to do things. Sometimes I still wonder why I care to do things, but then I try to discipline my mind again to focus on the task. So far life has shown me that the simplest tasks have made great differences in the turns of my life. I mean, small tasks have almost miraculously lead to so many people and happenings, usually years after. And, still, I can see the connexion and realise that it was not an accident or just a small thing I had done.

This is one experience I wanted to share with you, in hopes that it will help you, at least, accomplish your small everyday tasks with less weariness in your heart. Please, do not let work matters overwhelm your gentle spirit. I will be cheering for you :)

Rayati!
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CherieSpyker



Joined: 09 Jan 2009
Posts: 28
Location: NE Indiana

PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 12:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rayati, Miss Julianna!

It is perfectly proper to see help with your brain chemistry and approaches to daily challenges, just like diabetics have to adapt with their non-production of insulin. Do not be afraid to seek help. My spouse (who happens to be a mascul) has encouraged me to do that. It knew that not seeking help will cause cause more harm than good. It told me that with cognitive therapy and medication management, I can face the day better with all the dangers.

The modernist Pit society will try to make people feel inferior because of their depression/bipolar disorder/other illnesses and exhort us to exhibit willpower. "Chin up and smile." Do not fall for this lie.

My prayers go to you.

Rayati,
Miss Spyker
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Daffodil Finesmith
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Joined: 27 May 2008
Posts: 125
Location: Vintesse

PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 12:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Miss Julianna, dear sister,

I am sorry you are feeling low. It really might be S.A.D. as I have been feeling the same way myself for a time now. Even though one may have been going through cycles of mania and melancholy for most of one's life, it never does get any easier, does it?

A Buddhist friend of mine once suggested that one way to handle depression is to pretend it is a skidding car- turn your wheels toward the direction of the skid rather than away should achieve some measure of control. I think this means that one should accept it, (even relish it?) rather than fight it. Either that, or it means throwing up one's hands and yelling, "Oh no! Oh No! OH NO!"

(For myself I agree that getting a full night's sleep can do wonders. Or taking a long walk or some other exercise)

Sweetheart, you are wonderful and awesome and already do so very much for so many others that it's perfectly ok if you take a moment for yourself just now and throw yourself a pity party. Mmmm, maybe I will bring the chocolate...

Rayati for now,

Miss Daffodil
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Mengxia Yu
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Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 435
Location: Arkadya

PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you think that you are throwing yourself a pity party, Jiejie, it is a sure sign that you are not!

Many Aristasians, especially blondes, have psychological disorders. (I think it might be an effect of living in the Pit.)

I don't know what I would do without my own psychiatrist and counselor. Oh, wait, I do know--I would be locked up in the crazy home by now. (I am not exaggerating!) So I know I would feel much better if you stopped by the psychiatrist for a visit! (Not to imply that you might end up in the crazy house--it's just that I know how much a psychiatrist can help things.)

Having no ambition/energy/desire to do things is one of the ways my depression and bipolarism manifest themselves. Before I got treatment, it was so very hard to kick the urge to just sit down in the middle of the sidewalk and stare off into space.

Bipolarism goes on a scale of one to ten, with one being the VERY bad swings and ten being like cyclical bad days. Bipolar ten is weak enough that it often does not get diagnosed. That could be something to ask your psychiatrist about. I felt pretty good with my depression and anxiety medications, but I did not get wholly functional again until I started on bipolar treatment too.

Anyway, the bottom line is that we love you, and since many of us have been through similar troubles, no one here will mistake your problems for a pity party! Feel sorry for yourself and whine as much as you'd like! It really does help!
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Sai Saraswati Public Library: Your on-the-ground library in Telluria.
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MissJulianna
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Joined: 31 Jul 2008
Posts: 162
Location: Quirinelle and Culveria

PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 12:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rayati, Dear Ones:

Thank you so much for all of your kind words. I think I shall try to muster up the motivation to exercise today, although the thought of doing so seems utterly impossible. I have been through this before and know the signs and symptoms, which makes it somewhat easier to deal with.

At least in my case, undue stress seems to trigger these episodes, and goodness knows, I have had my share of that recently.

Miss Jullianna
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PheobeJoya



Joined: 16 Jan 2009
Posts: 60

PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hope the day is gentle with you Miss Juliesse. My thoughts are with you.
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MissJulianna
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Location: Quirinelle and Culveria

PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:59 pm    Post subject: Miss Jullianna Meets the Treadmill Reply with quote

It was like walking through mud, but I slogged through 40 minutes (2 1/2 miles) on the treadmill. You all were right: It did help. The brain cloud has lifted a bit but is still hovering.
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Charlotte Eleanor Laraway
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Joined: 25 Aug 2008
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Location: Somewhere between Kiana and Arkadya

PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 7:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How good to hear, dear Miss Juliesse! You can be proud of yourself for finding the will to do this! Often, when we feel bad it is so difficult to do the things that might help us to start feeling better. To find that "starter-energy" within us to DO something that will start things moving in a different direction is so important and also so difficult. At least, that is the way it is with my friends and myself.

I will keep praying for you. I'm sure you will feel better soon.

With kind greetings,
Charlotte
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