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Dud checks and balances

 
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Sushuri Madonna
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Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 335
Location: In a strange and scary place on a long journey homeward.

PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:55 am    Post subject: Dud checks and balances Reply with quote

I awoke this morning with a group of thoughts in my head of which I am not sure I can make perfect sense - but since this is my (shamefully under-used) diary I thought I might just throw them down to keep them intact and see if any of y'all had any thoughts.

As y'all may know, I have been taking a typing course as part of my schooling - a schooling which seems to be having a profound and healing effect on my whole being as is perhaps exemplified by this extract from my daily reports to my dear teacher:

Quote:
Among the sentences I am typing rather often is this:

Each maid is tasked with making her life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of her most elevated and critical hour.

I cannot say what a blessed, almost tearful, relief it is to be regularly in a class where I feel safe to accept and not glancing ever about with my hand on my sword-hilt. I think the reason I do not read is that I have always felt terribly wary and afraid of what thing I might allow access to my mind. To me (and I know this is horribly Philistine) even the plots of Grand opera are too full of the cruelty and lasciviousness of Telluria to be safe or happy objects of ingestion.


Well, I was thinking today of my essentially passive nature - how, for example, in the sphere of personal discipline, some people are very clear about what they need, while my tendency is to rely very much and very trustingly on the judgement of my mistress.

And it struck me today that my very strong dislike of Tellurian pseudo-authority may be founded on this.

To take a parallel, I have been far more secluded than most Aristasians, avoiding almost all contact with the Pit (the fact that I have lately been marooned in a place that is super-decayed even by Pit-standards does not help, but that is certainly not the whole reason).

Some people might guess that this is because I am not a very social person - but anyone who knows me knows that the precise opposite is the case. I am if anything (by West Telluri standards) excessively social. I come from a culture (South Novaryan) where almost everything is done as part of one's in-group and totally individual initiatives are rare and feel (to most) a little cold.

I am "unsocial" in the Pit precisely because I m a super social person. Society and even "light" friendship are to me such deep and fundamental things that I cannot commit myself to them in an alien environment.

Similarly I think I feel so hugely averse to Pit pseudo-authority because I am obedient to the point of passivity (well, I am passive and try very hard to be obedient). Authority to me is divine, and when actuated by false principles it becomes diabolical. Demon est Dea inversa.

In the Pit, I suddenly realized, micro-politics as well as macro-politics work on a system of "checks and balances". Constitutional checks and balances between branches of the executive are based on the idea that power is always potentially evil an must somehow be held in check by itself. To an aristasian this is a horrifying doctrine. Our polity is based on the Scriptural dictum:

To rest in the hands of a mistress that ruleth in thamŽ is to rest in Mine own hands.


On the "micro political" level, the "freedom of the individual" is a constant check against the potentially evil influence of society, and the rift, and distrust, has widened exponentially after the Eclipse, together with an opposite/complimentary exponential expansion of the power of the State over the individual.

To a simple-minded Aristasian like the self, authority that is not good, is demonic.

20. Who rules in her own right is a tyrant, or yet in the right of other maids. There is but one authority and the Truth alone is true.

21. Eat not the bread of tyrants nor drink their drink, but offer them first to She that owns them.

22. Join not their contentions, neither be a party to one side nor to the other, for they are athamŽ..


I understand that things work differently in Telluria, but I cannot become a part of those workings. And so I have tended to find myself in a world where the "outside" has seemed demonic. And I do seem to be benefitting enormously from a safe and sound schooling.

Hmm... have I ended up saying anything at all? Such a jumble of ideas, and all so dreffly self-focussed.

But it is my diary after all.

Do let me know if it makes any sense to you.

Wherewith,

Shroom out.
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Charlotte Eleanor Laraway
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Joined: 25 Aug 2008
Posts: 114
Location: Somewhere between Kiana and Arkadya

PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 11:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rayati Miss Madonna,
I think you have certainly said a lot of things, and I thank you very much for it. You moved me deeply. I don't think I have anything useful to add or say other than that what you said spoke to me on a very deep level.
Thank you,
Charlotte
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Candace Bethune



Joined: 05 May 2008
Posts: 25

PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Honored Miss Madonna, these words are very true and profound. I think you are getting at something I've tried all my life to define. I have never known any authority other than Pit pseudo-authority, so I have always felt at odds with authority, based on what I perceived as its evil. It seemed to me from a very young age that if there were any goodness, it must exist outside of any system I had observed. It's nothing short of miraculous that a real Aristatian such as yourself has had this revelation about why a Pit maid is so driven to wildness and total self-reliance in the face of what she sees as an indifferent universe.

I hesitate to discuss my feelings and beliefs (or lack of belief in some cases) in this venue, primarily because I don't wish to infect other maids with my dis-ordered state. I am more inclined to lurk so that I can be exposed to the thamŽ that abounds in these fora, while trying to keep my athamŽ to myself.

I will just say that I have been actively trying to cultivate a literal belief in the existence of Dea, since that appears to be the bedrock of a belief in the existence of true order and authority. It is terribly hard for me, having been taught nothing but skepticism and nihilism, but it is my hope that if I continue to keep my heart full of love for She who made me, eventually my mind will fill with the belief that has been so elusive.
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Minami Kohime



Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 39

PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 7:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rayati, everyone. I apologise for being so silent and not active in the fora, but I am seeing all that happens here with daily joy.

This one topic raised by dear Sushuri-chei made reminded me of one of the great reasons I gave up on my last therapist and will probably make me give up on therapy as a whole.

I surely must look like a rebel or a sociopath for many people. Ever since I had come to the conclusion that I despise authority and customs carried thoughtlessly by the society, diagnosys of many personality disorders were presented to me. How ironic to be labeled an unbalanced person for keeping away from myself the many things in the Pit that the Pit-dwellers themselves so many times complain about, but must live under and obey in order to "be free".

And, just a little extra piece of news from me: The Feminine Universe is, without a shadow of doubt, the one important book of my life so far. I didn't have to reflect and think about the things written there. They just found their original places inside of me and I was instantly completed.
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Sushuri Madonna
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Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 335
Location: In a strange and scary place on a long journey homeward.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How nice that my vague ruminations seem to have struck so many chords. They felt so vague that I almost did not write them down.

Miss Bethune, may I recommend that you read The Feminine Universe? It is not actually a religious book but it does very much clarify the whole question of why a literal belief in Dea makes logical sense (and unbelief doesn't!). You may find it useful to read the first chapter on-line. It gives the answer at the most fundamental level to the modernist nihilism of Telluria.

May I also cordially invite you, Miss Laraway, Minami-chei and Miss Bethune to attend the service for the Feast of Divine Life on Sunday. It is in the White Rose Room as usual (do use this link as older ones may not work) at 6am PDT 9 am Eastern, 2pm BST 3pm Europe.

And everyone else as well! Y'all come, y'hear?

Shroom out.
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Candace Bethune



Joined: 05 May 2008
Posts: 25

PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I very bitterly regret that I was unable to attend the service. I was so looking forward to it, but Tellurian life interfered.

I would very much like to obtain a copy of The Feminine Universe, although I understand it is difficult to find. I would be very grateful if it were possible to purchase it, and possibly also The District Governess. In the meantime, I will certainly read the excerpt available here. Thank you, honored Miss Madonna, as always for your kind words and your guidance.
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Charlotte Eleanor Laraway
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Joined: 25 Aug 2008
Posts: 114
Location: Somewhere between Kiana and Arkadya

PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rayati Miss Bethune and all others!
I believe the Feminine Universe is available from the Chapel, or not? I was going to order it from there myself this week.
Rayati,
Charlotte
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Sushuri Madonna
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Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 335
Location: In a strange and scary place on a long journey homeward.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 10:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Feminine Universe is available from the Chapel. There is a button for ordering it

at the bottom of this page

It is also possible to buy The District Governess, Please contact me if you would like to.
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